Sense
by Dlbn
Summary: It just made sense. *Dedication fic


Disclaimer: I do NOT own Loveless or any character, place, or thing contained therein. That all belongs to Yun Kouga. I make NO money off of writing this work of fiction. I also do NOT own the song here. It's in italics. The song is "Fallen Angel" by L'Ame Immortelle. I make NO money off of using it here. I don't sue the whole song, just relevant bits and pieces of it.

Dedication: This fanfic is dedicated to my wonderful boyfriend, for our one year and a half anniversary. Here's to many more years to come. I can't wait to see what the future holds 3

000

It just didn't make any sense. Sure, this time apart wasn't voluntary on neither his nor Soubi's account, but it was happening and that's what hurt the most. As thirteen year old Aoyagi Ritsuka lay on his bed, awake, he stared at the calendar tacked to the wall beside his corkboard full of pictures. The big red circle surrounding the date, November 15th, did little to ease his nerves. It was in April of 2012 that his dear fighter, Agatsuma Soubi, was taken away from him by his brother; Aoyagi Seimei. Seimei had come to retrieve the blonde to help him with whatever plan he was cooking up inside his twisted, raven hair covered head. It wasn't that Seimei _needed_ Soubi. He had his _own_ fighter, Akame Nisei. While Ritsuka didn't like the snake of a man that shared a name with his brother, he'd prefer Seimei to have him instead of Soubi…why did he need two fighters, anyway? Ritsuka sighed and turned away from the calendar with the big red circle and the corkboard of memories. He couldn't bear to look at the date or the smiling faces of himself and friends, and, more importantly, himself with Soubi. The photo they took the first day they met, 364 days ago, was always in the center of the board; framed by pink ribbon with little red hearts on it and a glass covering-both gifts from Soubi so Ritsuka could start to make a 'scrapbook'. Ritsuka would often come home from school as of late to discover little boxes wrapped in paper covered in hand painted butterflies sitting on his bed. He'd be gentle with the paper and put it in a little plastic container under his for his collection. Each box held a little gift from Soubi, with a note reading 'Sukidayo'. Most of the gifts were scrapbooking items, but one contained a very expensive red digital camera that Ritsuka never let out of his sight. Playing with the camera black strap around his neck, Ritsuka closed his eyes and let his mind wander. Music played softly from the little radio Yayoi had given him for his birthday last year; the haunting melody soothing to his ears, yet tugging on his heart strings.

"_I found you broken on the ground_

_From your mouth a bitter sound_

_That became sweeter as I approached_

_You in your deepest agony_." The soft female voice sang her confession through the speakers.

Ritsuka tried to hold back tears as he thought of _his _perfect, sweet, damaged fighter, out there fighting alongside his brother and doing god knows what else. He didn't belong out there with Seimei! He belonged here with Ritsuka! The _snake_ belonged with Seimei; killing, fighting, hacking, spying, and whatever else he did under Seimei's command. Soubi should be _here_; hugging him and protecting him from his mother's attacks.

"_I fell in love with you those days_

_And hoped that you would too._" The voice continued on; its owner not knowing how it was tormenting a young, raven haired ball of emotions.

As much as he hated to admit it, it wasn't just Seimei and the snake that upset him. It was Soubi. How could he go against what he promised? How could he give into Seimei's orders and abandon him? Ritsuka ordered him to stop. To not go anywhere and to just stay there with him. But Soubi didn't listen. He gave in. he went to Seimei and followed him; leaving Ritsuka alone to weep in the cemetery. But truth be told, Ritsuka did miss him dearly. The blonde was all he thought about, all he could focus on, all he wanted and needed. He was the only thing that mattered, just as it should be. Soubi was his reason for living. His air, his smile, his food and drink, his blood, his heart, his soul; his everything.

"_You've been a fallen angel_

_Ripped out of the sky…_" Ritsuka found himself singing along; his voice shaky s he kept up with the remorseful woman on the CD.

But as your wings grew strong enough

"_You left me_

_Behind to die._"

Soubi really was a fallen angel. The twenty-one year old had been through so much growing up, and it left him fragile. From his parents' tragic deaths, the abuse from his former sensei and caregiver, down to the abuse from Seimei himself. And yet, Soubi still went back to Seimei. The master with the knife, the orders, the temper, the sharp tongue, the reputation of a killer, a psychopath, a sadist, a madman…sure, he couldn't go against the bond that connected them, but it needed to be severed. Abandoning Ritsuka and fleeing with Seimei made as much sense as dropping out of Ato Art College and going back to the Academy to train under Minami Ritsu. It didn't make _any_ sense at all. Ritsuka heard a tapping on his balcony window and sat up anxiously to look.

"Soubi?" He wondered.

He spotted a bird tapping at the seed covered paper turkey on his door ad sighed it was a class project attracting birds like it was meant to; not his fighter coming back to him. Ritsuka flopped back onto his bed with an agitated sigh. He tried to be mad at Soubi for listening and leaving. He really did! He cried and hit his pillow, and screamed, and cursed. But it meant nothing. Being angry and upset wasn't getting him back. Lying in wait and waiting for the older male to come back to him was what would get him back. Just waiting for Soubi and Seimei and the snake to finish whatever Seimei's plan was so that Soubi could return and shower him with hugs and kisses, love and affection, and muttered apologies and tears. It wasn't Soubi's fault. Ritsuka _tried_ to be mad at him and get him out of his head. He really did. But when he found that he simply _couldn't_, he stopped fighting. He accepted that it was only temporary and that things would be alright again. Soon enough, Soubi would be sneaking through his bedroom window at night, and Ritsuka would be running to his house in the middle of the night to escape his mother's terrifying wrath. Everything would be okay, soon. It had to be. It just did. He could _feel_ it, deep within his heart and his subconscious. Soubi would come back, and things would be as good as new. It would be like he never left.

000

Ritsuka's thoughts continued to drift towards Soubi when he woke up the next day. Why was Soubi always in his dreams _and_ the first thing on his mind in the mornings after said dreams? Ritsuka sighed as he stretched and went into the bathroom down the hall. He ran a hot bath for himself and took his pajamas off; getting in and bringing his yellow rubber duck in with him. He hadn't been able to bathe the night before because his mother had been pacing the halls like a guard dog, ready and waiting for him to come out so she could pounce. But considering that it was now Saturday, he could take an early bath without worrying about being late to school or facing his mother soon after. His thoughts began to drift to Soubi again as he slid into the tub and let the water cover his mouth, but leaving enough room before his nose so he wouldn't breathe in the water. He wondered what it would be like to share a bath with the blonde. Didn't adults do that when they were in love? Take baths together? Ritsuka shook the thoughts away, making the water ripple. Where had _that_ come from? Yeah, he was in love with Soubi, and yes, he was a hormonally challenged teenager now. But he didn't need to think about _that_. Not now, anyway. Maybe when he was in his room at night when he could…ugh, where were these thoughts coming from? That pervert had some kind of sick hold on him. He was sure of that.

He still couldn't help but wonder when Soubi would be back. It had been almost a year already. Wasn't that enough for Seimei? It sure was far too long for Ritsuka's taste. Even if Soubi did come to give him gifts, he hadn't seen the blonde at all. The distance was killing him. While he was happy to see a small gift from the blonde in his room when he got home from school or therapy, he was also disappointed that he hadn't gotten there in time to see the love of his life and shower him with love and affection. It was nice that Soubi managed to find a way to sneak away from the overbearing Seimei and get to him to let him know he still cared, but it would be nice to actually _see_ the blonde. Ritsuka ran a hand through his dripping wet hair. He didn't _need_ to see Soubi, damn it! He didn't _need_ to know that the blonde cared and thought about him. He didn't _need_ Soubi! He didn't! He could do just fine without him! They were just friends, anyway! He didn't love Soubi, he didn't!

"I _don't_ love Soubi, damn it all!" Ritsuka cried, yanking on his own hair in frustration. "I don't, I can't, I won't! Loveless, damn it! I'm _Loveless_! _One without love_. I don't feel this way about _anyone_!"

"Is that so true, Ritsuka?" A deep voice asked from his bed. "Should I leave, then?"

Ritsuka jumped, startled, and let out a yelp. "S-Soubi!"

The blonde was sitting patiently at the end of his bed with another gift wrapped in butterfly-red this time-decorated wrapping paper. He held the gift out to Ritsuka for him to take.

Ritsuka ignored the gift in favor of sitting next to his former fighter. "You…you're welcome to stay, Soubi…"

"Thank you, Ritsuka." Soubi smiled softly. "Open the gift, if you would?"

"Why do you keep doing these things for me?" Ritsuka wondered, hanging his head and letting his raven colored hair dance in his vision. "I do appreciate it, but you don't have to…"

"But that is why I do it." Soubi smiled softly. "Because I want to." He adjusted his glasses. "Go ahead. Open it, if you would."

"O-Okay." Ritsuka smiled softly. He gently pulled off the wrapping paper to keep the butterflies intact and opened the small white box to find a key inside. The key was silver with red butterflies on it. "A key?"

"To my apartment." Soubi nodded, putting an arm around the boy and pulling him close. "If you ever need somewhere to go, my door is always open. And this is for days when it's not because Kio forgot what I said and locked it."

Kio and his boyfriend, Akira, had taken up residence in Soubi's house to watch after the Zero brothers, Sagan Yoji and Natsuo, since Soubi didn't trust them home alone. Soubi had told Kio and the Zeroes to leave the door unlocked so Ritsuka could come over at any time. He lived in a good neighborhood, so it was okay.

"T-Thank you…"

Soubi smiled and kissed the top of his head. "You're welcome, kitten."

Ritsuka flushed. "S-Stop calling me that…B-Baka…"

Soubi chuckled. "If you say so." He sighed softly. "Do you really mean what you said, Ritsuka?"

"I…I don't know…" The kitten looked away. "I mean…it _is _my name, my nature…I can't fight it…"

"No, you cannot defy fate. This is a fact." Soubi nodded once. "But you don't have to submit to it."

"What do you mean?"

"If you love someone, don't let your name be the reason you hold back. A name is just a word, Ritsuka. It binds you to your other half, but that's all it does."

Ritsuka looked back at Soubi. "Are you sure?" Plum met cobalt as they shared a knowing glance.

"I'm very certain, Ritsuka." Soubi took his hand and kissed the knuckles. "Would I ever lie to you?"

"You said you'd never leave me. You said that you'd listen to my every order…but you left and ignored when I ordered you to come back…"

Soubi frowned. "Ritsuka…I…"

"Let me finish." There was authority and command in Ritsuka's voice that the young Sacrifice didn't mean to put into it.

Soubi shut his mouth, not daring to speak another word.

"But despite all of that…Soubi…" Ritsuka sighed before looking up at the blonde again. "I can't deny that I do have feelings, very strong feelings, for you. I try to pretend I don't care, because maybe if I pretend long enough, and pretend hard enough, then maybe even one day soon, _I'll_ start to believe it. To believe that you're not coming back and that I'm okay with that. To believe that there was nothing between us, except for what Seimei ordered and a fighter and sacrifice's bond. To believe that I don't love you, because then I can just blame all of this on my name and accept that it's normal and natural for me to be like Seimei; a sadistic bastard who doesn't care about anyone but himself…"

"You are nothing like your brother." Soubi assured, taking Ritsuka's chin in his hand. "Seimei is a serial killer with no remorse. You? You're a sweet, innocent young man. You're a pacifist who cares about his friends, his mother, other people. You're nothing like Seimei. You're ten times…no…a hundred times better then Seimei is and ever will be."

Ritsuka's eyes widened as Soubi's lips pressed to his in a light kiss. The teen pulled Soubi closer by the collar and threaded his fingers through the blonde's hair. Soubi moaned lightly and pulled Ritsuka closer by the waist; digging his fingers into the boy's side's. Ritsuka pulled back and Soubi pressed their foreheads together.

"Please…Ritsuka…stop fighting it."

Ritsuka smiled softly. "It doesn't make sense." He said.

"What doesn't?"

"Fighting it like this…I love you, and you love me. That's all that should matter…to hell with my name. To hell with what anyone says about it. I love you, Soubi, and not even Seimei can stand in the way. Not any longer."

Soubi pulled his young lover into another passionate, needy kiss. Ritsuka held fast to the elder's collar as Soubi's tongue rubbed against his lips before sliding in between and exploring. Ritsuka fought back with his own tongue; the two appendages dancing together. Before either could make another move, Soubi's cell phone buzzed. Ritsuka moaned in annoyance as the blonde pulled away and answered.

"Hai, Seimei." He greeted. "Hai, I got what you asked. I'm on my way to the train station now. Hai…I see. I'll see you soon. Goodbye." He hung up. "I'm sorry…"

Ritsuka shrugged. "It is what it is." He stated. "You'll come back. You always do."

"Of course." Soubi kissed his temple. "I'll always come back for you."

Ritsuka smiled. "I know you will." He confirmed. "Now go…before Seimei gets mad."

"Hai, hai." Soubi chuckled, standing.

Ritsuka followed him to the balcony and clung to his waist. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Soubi put a hand on the boy's head and sighed softly. "Oh…and Ritsuka?"

"Yeah?"

Soubi smirked and kissed the top of the teen's head. "Happy year and a half anniversary." He disappeared down the rope ladder hanging from the balcony before Ritsuka could reply.

Ritsuka leaned over the railing and smiled at him. "Soubi!"

Soubi looked up. "Hai?"

"You too!"

Soubi smiled. "Thank you."

"I love you, Soubi!" Ritsuka called after him.

Soubi smiled. "I love you, too."

They shared a wave before Soubi left. Ritsuka sighed and ran a hand through his still soaked hair as he went back into his room. Hopefully, his mother hadn't heard his confession. As he made his way back to the bed, Ritsuka noticed something sticking out from under the bed. Curious, he pulled it out. It was a rather large, flat box. It was decorated in paper bag looking wrapping paper adorned with rainbow butterflies. Another gift from Soubi? How had he not seen it? Oh, right. Soubi was sitting there. His legs probably hid it earlier. Ritsuka gently pulled off the little card that was attached to it. He opened it up to read the inside.

"_I love you more than I can say_

_And we will never part."_

Ritsuka read the lyrics out loud. That song! How had Soubi known? Did he know how that song made Ritsuka feel? What it meant to him and who it reminded him off directly? Ritsuka smiled and read onward.

"_A year and a half ago, fate smiled upon me and brought me you. You are the best thing in my life, Ritsuka, and I couldn't imagine life without you at my side, where you belong. Here's to many more years and amazing memories we will make along the way. I no longer wish for you to be my master, Ritsuka. A master is cruel and unjust and punishes. That is not you. You are a kind soul and I never want to see that change. It's amazing what a year and a half can do. What can happen and what feelings develop. Ritsuka, if you will have me, I would like to be your boyfriend instead of your fighter. Would you please allow that? I will visit you in a week, when Seimei sends me out for more errands. Give me your answer then? Remember, Ritsuka. You are not Seimei. Never try to be like him. Stay you. Stay young, happy, healthy, and friendly. Loveless is just a name. Please don't let it consume you. I love you, Ritsuka. My soul mate._

_Sukidayo,_

_Agatsuma Soubi_

Ritsuka smiled tearfully as he read the note. He meant that much to Soubi? Wait, boyfriend? Soubi wanted to be his boyfriend?! If he was in any state of mind to do so, Ritsuka would have squealed like a teenage girl, but he held it back and hugged the card to his chest. He set it down and looked at the large box he had pulled from under his bed. Delicately, he peeled away the wrapping paper to see a wood frame with a canvas on it. The canvas was blank on the backside, where Ritsuka was looking, so he unwrapped it and looked to the front. What he saw stunned him. In a perfect mirror image of his most treasured photograph, his favorite memory, was an oil painting; a close up of him and Soubi that Ritsuka himself had taken in the park the day they met. In perfect replicated glory, Soubi smiled at the camera while Ritsuka held a slightly surprised look on his face from when Soubi's hand accidentally, or maybe on purpose, now that he thought about it more, brushed against his tail. In the bottom right corner, numbers and a date were written that mimicked the photograph. In the bottom left corner, black calligraphy spelled out the words; 'Let's make a memory'. Ritsuka's eyes welled and he wiped at them with a shirt sleeve. It was beautiful. An amazing replica that only Soubi himself could have created.

"The more memories the better." He kissed the image of Soubi. "Of course, I'll be your boyfriend, Soubi."

Soubi may have had to leave due to circumstances beyond his control. But in the end, his heart would only belong to Ritsuka, as Ritsuka's would only belong to him. His soon to be boyfriend really was the best thing in the world to him. No one and nothing could ever replace him, not even his brother. He didn't need to fight his emotions and feelings anymore.

Soubi loved him

He loved Soubi.

They would be together.

His boyfriend.

The love of his life.

His soul mate.

Together _forever_.

Just how it was supposed to be.

After all…

It.

Just.

Made.

Sense.


End file.
